You have a lot of work to do, you are busy, you are a witty conscience winner. Do you keep on doing your household chores every day, trying to make money in parenting? That's it!For busy mothers: slow down and dry
Balancing and maternityI just met a wonderful 92 year old woman. He went to a male during the Great Economy World War, and then lost his brother during the Second World War. Although he became a widow at a young age, his dreams were broken, and yet he lived a rich, interesting life. When I asked him how he was up and how he dealt with stress, he seemed embarrassed. Instead, he talked about sin, about hard work, and about people who are sympathetic. "I wouldn't say I was living a stressful life," he said. I couldn't say what. My friends and I are constantly complaining. We have nice kids, cozy homes and good guys - the worst thing that happened to us last year was that our favorite team was lost. We are healthy. Perhaps none of us is rich, but we have no problems with survival. Is life today so much more stressful than ever? Or are we just a lamenting generation? I decided to ask a few experts about it. "For the average middle-class American family, raising a child today can be a lot more stressful," he says. Kirby Deater-Deckard Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and the University of Florida. This is largely because we all have more choices in our lives, which means we have to make decisions many times over. My 92-year-old friend did not have to deal with work, at least. Today, if an American woman wants to work, she needs help, and that is a constant pressure. Parents who choose to stay at home face another problem. "We have a lot of financial difficulties because I don't work," he says. Heidi Davis, mother of four children. "My brother and I are constantly talking about money. I try to remind myself that we chose this, that we made the decision and that our children only profit from it. But I am still there." : who try to solve everything themselves. It was like I was working under my son's preschool, not being involved in any of my roles, so I felt I was missing something from my mother and work.
Many small problems
Of course, few things - the microwave oven, the dishwasher, the cell phone - made our lives easier. Mothers are much more connected than ever. Through the mediums, home mothers are able to connect, not isolate, help one another, and give advice on parenting requests. But in the face of convenience, the world has become more and more complex. Jobs are demanding more and more, and an average American is spending more time at work than ever before. With modern technology, we can be accessed at any time and from anywhere, providing little opportunity to really stop us. Not to mention the amount of information. "Information is constantly bombarded with news: earthquake victims, political scandals, or killings in a neighboring city," he says. Alice D. Domar counselor, Harvard assistant professor. - No wonder we are tense. In fact, the accumulation of stress is interesting. In the early days of studying stress, experts focused on serious stressors that, fortunately, have relatively little to do with family life: severe health problems, infirmity, poverty, naturalness. Researchers have since focused on stressors that are more common, such as death, death of parents, or loss of work. housework is endless, "he says Amy Maxwell, mother with two children. "The pots are always dirty, the clothes have to be folded, and my kids definitely want to live with each other."
Unbelievably high expectationsStress experts also agree that sometimes we are our own hostile. We make demands on ourselves that make our own business very difficult. Why should every Christmas be better than the previous one? Why do we need a house that we can proudly show you, why two new cars? Worst of all, as soon as your baby is born, the red light comes on to create everything around him. We are looking for a full-time occupant all day to avoid having to play alone for a minute. "Stress can be healthy and productive," says dr. Deater-Deckard. "You can learn from it, make your mothers and fathers more flexible." I don't want to become a woman who, when her kids go to college, doesn't remember anything other than the medical office or the shoe store hysteria. I want to remember when my kids learned how to cook a bubble, told a joke, or when they said "I'm kidding, Mom."
My motivation is 100 percent. I want to enjoy motherhood, I want as many precious moments as possible. I need to do more than that. For example, I shouldn't expect much from myself. I expect much more from myself than from any other person. Leave the expectations. I stop sending postcards during the holidays, letting the kids see a little bit more about the father, sometimes throwing in a pizza salad instead. I spend more time with my friends and husband. "When women try to satisfy all the needs of their children and their work, they often find it difficult to partner," he says. Wendy Troxel, a stress researcher at the University of Pittsburgh. Couples who are able to maintain the quality of their relationship form a better team, share responsibility, and in the end, they are all much better.What do I do? It's not that everything at home shines, you don't have to clean up the kid's fat for days before everything is perfect.
Every day I remind myself that these years are not going to keep you cool, you have to enjoy every minute of it now. I need to be with my kids now for as long as I can. Last week I went to the cinema with my son instead of my assignments, and my son and I got a huge tickle. parents.com)
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